May 2012
theyellovvbrickroad:
row row row ur boat
gently off the cliff
thanks
Me: Do you want any help mum?
Mum: No thanks sweetie.
*5 minutes later*
Mum: HONEST TO GOD IT'S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK I'D COME BACK AND YOU'D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES HONESTLY I DO SO MUCH AND I'M NOT EVEN VALUED DO YOU EVEN CARE NO YOU DON'T
Friend: Omg, your parents are so nice!
You: It's because you're here.
soujizz:
benefits to dating me
you have no competition
that’s about it actually
but i think it’s a good point
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Ha
Me: Hahahaha
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
Me: OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR
Me: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL OH MY GOD
Me: FORGET THAT, JESUS TAKE THE WHOLE GOD DAMN CAR
Me: Hahaha
Me: Haaa....
Me: Whooooooo, that was a good one.
Me: No, no I am not.
looking back at myself a year ago: how embarassing
looking back at myself a month ago: how embarassing
looking back at myself a week ago: how embarassing
looking back at myself yesterday: how embarassing
looking at myself right now: how embarassing
there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants
“It’s a uniquely American prudishness. You can write the most detailed, vivid...”
– Author George R. R. Martin (A Song of Ice and Fire.) Interview published in May 2012 Rolling Stones Magazine. (via sweetupndown9)
do you ever like a fictional character so much you actually get jealous when other people say they like them
That awkward moment when no one else is laughing...
xmayb:
teacher: just do your homework
doctor: just eat healthy
mum: just clean your room
opposite sex: just look gorgeous
friends: just be socially active
life: just be perfect
me: it's not that fucking easy dude
shout out to my mom for making the most perfect kid ever
